Walking away...

I feel like this blog is slowly becoming a composition of all my ramblings and less filled with updated pictures of the boys, but life is definitely changing for the Watsons. I feel like it is moving so quickly that it is simply carrying me along and I have no say in where I am going or what I am doing. So to all our faithful followers, get your reading glasses on....for over the next couple of months, I will have lots to update you on.

I took a year off of work last year to stay at home with my boys. I have found....that staying at home....is by far the most difficult job you can ever have. It is a 24/7 "on" job.....and you are being observed closely every minute. When you make mistakes....you affect the lives of others. I have had to learn to fully lay down selfishness. Not only has my life become "not my own", but my body was "not my own". Every part of me has been given to everyone else. Needless to say, it has been the toughest year of my life....but also the greatest. I have learned to find patience when that task seems impossible. I have learned to find joy in my accomplishments...even if it is only a load of laundry done for the day. I have learned to laugh, dance, sing, and play as if the world did not exist past my front door. And I have learned to love deeper than I had ever dared to go. I have been given the gift of wisdom....seeing how the Father loves us through the eyes of my own children.

Today I made the easiest and hardest decision I think I have ever made. Going back to work would mean that I now would take on two full time jobs. I know me...and knowing me means that both jobs would suffer because they would each only be taking half of me. So today, I walked away from my teaching position. As I walked through the halls, talking to everyone I met, my heart was heavy. I have worked there for 5 years and given my heart, passion, friendships to not only my coworkers, but the kids I have taught. I glanced at my room and thought, "Give me some kids and I could walk right in here and start teaching." Teaching is a gift that I know the Lord blessed me with the natural ability to do. It pains me a little to walk away from a job I have worked so hard to build, yet I am excited (and nervous) to see where the Lord takes me. When I close my eyes and see my professional future, it now looks blank. I am daring to dream my life could be different......so by faith and faith alone....I set out on that adventure.