Thursday, May 28, 2009

Saying goodbye...

It is never easy to say goodbye, for whatever reason or even season.  Letting go is such a realistic part of life, yet at those times the feeling is so disheartening and unnatural.  Last Saturday I had to say goodbye to someone who is very dear to my heart, my grandfather, Burton Daimwood.  I have a friend that reminds me often to not have earthly expectations because people will always let you down.  But I can honestly say that I do not think my Papa ever let me down.....or ever let anyone down.  He was a man of great faith, compassion, courage, and integrity.  Last Saturday I watched as he took his last breath and I found my heart, over taken by grief, thinking "what is he seeing, is he with the Lord now, how does feel"?  The unknown.  I believe and have believed all my life in our creator, our father, that this world is not our home.  But to witness someone passing brought on a new level of questions, doubts, sadness.  Where was that peace that transends all understanding?  Then as I was driving home I was reminded that we don't know, we're not supposed to, we are only asked to believe.  And as I thought of Papa's last breath, I thought of Jesus'.  What the people must have been thinking.....questions, doubts, sadness.  If that was the end, we would never know that there truly was more.  But he returned!  He was perfect, and he showed us that there was more.  And there in that moment, my peace came.  I hear music in my head at all times.  I either never embraced the musical side of me or maybe I am crazy.  But especially since Caleb has been born, those late night feedings brought really interesting songs.  Most were choruses of christian songs reminding me that the Lord was with me during my exhausted breakdowns.  Sometimes it was random commercial songs that literally told me that I was going crazy not having any sleep.  But Saturday a song played in my head all day long.  "You are God alone, from before time began, you were on your throne, you are God alone.  And right now, in the good times and bad, you are on your throne, you are God alone."  I am so thankful that he is God alone!  I am thankful that seeing Papa in that state did not mean that was the end of him.  And while the world has suffered a true loss, Heaven has gained a great son.  I can't wait to see him again.  Just knowing he is on the other side waiting, makes that "disheartening, unnatural" part of death a little more bearable.

I write all this to share my Caleb "Burton"!  Although he will never know his Papa Burton, I pray that I can raise him with the same spirit and passion for life that he had.  At two months old he already displays a unique calmness that my sweet Baker has yet to have =)!  Caleb weighed in at a whopping 13 lbs at his checkup and is doing fabulous!  I am very thankful Papa was able to be a part of his life, however long that it was.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Quick Update!

Just a few quick pics to share.....bath time fun, a day at the park with some of our favorite friends (Baker was about asleep), and Caleb in his bassinet at 6 weeks....can we say chubby!  We are all loving the warm weather and getting outside.  

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Yea for video!!!!

I am so excited.  For mother's day Josh, Baker, and Caleb got me a Flip mini video camera.  It is about the size of a Nano.  I love it!  It is so easy to take video and I can carry it with me everywhere. just sticks right in to the computer!  So, hopefully you will begin to see more video of my boys rather than pictures.  Baker is growing so much.  I have felt very guilty because my time with him has been greatly decreased the past few weeks.  We were working on colors, words, drawing, etc.  Then Caleb was born and it is a good day if we get a chance to sit down and read a book together.  It is getting easier, and I am starting to get adjusted, so hopefully Baker and I will be back on track soon.  I am not sure how much a 20 month old boy should know, but it amazes me each day what Baker picks up on.  He understands everything I say.  And you only have to show him something once and he can do it over and over again.....ex:  dad's electric razor, turning on lights in the car, putting dvds in the player, turning on the radio and changing stations.....basically, anything with technology.  He is his daddy's boy.  He has definitely been a challenge these past few weeks with Caleb, but Baker is still my joy.  I tell him he is my first love!

Video of Caleb soon to be posted!  Caleb is 6 weeks old.  At his one month apt he was 10 lbs 3 oz.  So.....he is a hoss!!!  He is so heavy and big that I feel like he is not as young as he is.  He has become a little fussy during the day, however, he is excellent at night, stretching 5 hours.  Even though I am looking forward to the day he sleeps through the night, I am finding that time with him......calm, quiet, only us precious!  It wasn't as precious when I was waking up every 2 hours, but now with a 5 hour stretch, I can appreciate it a little more!