Tuesday, August 11, 2009

My Beautiful Ending...



I stumbled upon a song yesterday that has sort of written itself on my heart...so much so that I felt compelled to blog about it.  In so many ways I have never felt more convicted.  I feel, especially recently, that I have been battling a lot of my own selfishness and pride....only looking at life by what is presenting itself on my doorstep at the time.  I feel like I have never more clearly felt the devil's pull challenging my heart and my thoughts.  But when I look closer, I realize that I am the one allowing that door to be opened by my own selfishness.
"And it scares me to think, that I would choose my life over You.  My selfish heart divides me from you.  It tears us apart."
Can you say conviction?  But the song also challenges me....to dig deeper.  It pushes me to think past the present to what we are really here for...what is our purpose.  When I hear the chorus, 
"So tell me, what is our ending?  Will it be beautiful, so beautiful?  Will my life, find me by your side?  Will it be beautiful, so beautiful?"
I stop an think about what is real.  Where do I want to be when my life is all said in done?  Will I have made it past all the hard, challenging times and stood strong?  Stood for what I deep down, truly cling to as truth, and not get lost in my own wants and desires.  I once heard that there are no sidelines on a battefield....you have to pick a side, you have to pick up your sword and fight one way or another.  So although this battle may be difficult, I have to see this life for what it truly is....just a stopping point on my journey....in hope and faith that I will find my beautiful ending.  I want to know...at the end of it all...that I did not fail Him.
"At the end of it all, I wanna be by your side."   
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1 comment:

  1. Keri at Growing in His GloryAugust 12, 2009 at 7:51 AM

    I had never heard that song, but I love it and your post convicts me. It is so easy for me to get caught up in the day to day routine of life of taking care of Kate, cleaning the house, fixing dinner, and just living and not even think about life beyond this one. I want to be happy right now, but God doesn't promise us happiness in this life. Only in heaven will we be truly happy and at peace. That is hard to swallow for me because I am human and can think only about the present. The future and life with Him seem unfathomably far away even though my life on earth could end today.

    I want my ending to be beautiful, too. I don't want to be so bogged down by my wants and selfish desires that I lose that and miss out on what is so much more important and eternal!

    Jesus says, "Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." (Matt. 10:39) If we cling to this life, we will lose the future benefits of a life with Christ. Earthly rewards are so fleeting and soooo dangerous because they can keep us from life with Him.

    Thank you for your post, Laura, and for reminding me of why I am here: to glorify God, not to have all the things I desire and in constant search for happiness.

    Keri-

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