Joyless January

As I was getting my children ready for bed tonight, tears almost welled up in my eyes out of pure exhaustion. To say this has been a tough month would be a great understatement. December 30th we found out that both boys had strep throat and ear infections. Two days later....Mommy and Daddy (Josh by the way has never had strep before in his life) turn up with strep throat. So you can imagine what our week was like. Thankfully Caleb was a trooper and pulled through it pretty smoothly. Baker, however, wasn't napping, slept in our bed for a few nights, threw up 7 times one night, had high fever that he just couldn't shake for a few days, and wouldn't eat much.

I'm glad that our snow day pictures show a day of smiles and fun. It definitely was!!! That.....was a Monday. Tuesday, both children ended up with snotty noses. From there....Baker again wasn't sleeping well, wasn't feeling well.....and either was Mommy! Just days off of medicine, I end up with strep AGAIN. And yesterday Baker, once again, has not only strep but infantigo and a burst ear drum.

So for weeks.....I have given medicine around the clock, kept lists with the times/degree of the boys' fever (bc I for sure can't keep two straight without writing it down), snuffed noses, wiped noses, given saline spray, vaseline for noses, Vicks on the chest, throw away and buy new toothbrushes, disinfect the house constantly, haven't slept well in weeks, etc. I AM EXHAUSTED!!!!!!!

But there was a moment.....a single moment tonight.....where I held Caleb in my arms, rocking him to sleep, and tears began to fall for a different reason. I looked at him and remembered that no matter how hard it is at times.....even if it lasts a month, even if it lasts more than a month.....I would not trade a minute of it just to pass by this difficult season. Pretty soon I he won't want me to rock him, hold him, cuddle, love on him! That.....THAT.....will be the truly difficult season!