I'm growing!!!

It has felt like decades since my last post.  I was definitely in a different place.....although I still have those daily thoughts.  Showers come every now and then and I still wonder when I will ever sleep again....but it is getting better.  It is hard to believe that Caleb is almost one month old.  It is going by so quickly....and yet, so slowly!  I can honestly say that I was scared to death the first day that I had both my boys by myself, but we made it.  We are still making it.  Each day gets a little easier, and being able to get out of the house....if only for a walk....makes each day a little brighter.  We  are definitely still working out the kinks of scheduling.  I was a nazi about getting Baker on a schedule first thing....even waking him up in the middle of the night to feed...and he did horrible!  I really think I made him a high maintenance child.  Caleb is on an every 3 hour schedule during the day and I let him wake up on his own at night (you learn with the second!!!).  Of course he is still not doing very long stretches between feedings and it is killing me......but I hope one day soon that will change.  He has, unfortunately, started spitting up and having a fussy time at night before his last feeding.  But otherwise, he is still a pretty chilled baby.  Thankfully he goes with the flow and isn't too affected by Baker's occasional swats and screams at him.  Baker is doing better too.  I think he is figuring out that Caleb is not going anywhere.  You can see below that he loves Caleb's sock monkeys.  He looks drunk in the first one, but I had to capture him "patting/loving" on the monkey......after he beat it.  I am loving watching Regis and Kelly in the mornings....in small spurts.  The other morning Jennifer Lopez was on talking about her twins.  Kelly asked if she could tell a difference between the boy and the girl.  Jennifer said the girl is so particular about things, takes her time and investigates things.  She said the boy runs around everywhere and eats everything all the time.  It really made me laugh!  I don't have a girl, but she hit the nail on the head when it comes to having a boy!  We couldn't live without them!

I think the word is ..... surviving!

Today's thoughts.....

*Will I ever be able to shower again?

*Do I even care?

*Will I ever get out of my pajamas?

*Will I ever get out of the house again?

It is only 1 pm and it has already been a day.  But I know the first day is the hardest.  I feel like today is the first day all over again b/c it is my first day at home with the boys by myself.  I feel sort of like a robot.....get one up, get the other, feed one, feed the other, play with one, feed again, then feed the other again, etc.  You get the idea.  So in the midst of today, those were the thoughts going through my head and  I thought I would share.  Not to mention I experienced Baker's first all out, fall on the floor, can't calm himself down, 30 minute, fit.  All because his cheese toast was not ready.  I think I can safely say he is having a little trouble adjusting too.  And to top it all off, Josh comes home for lunch to tell me he is playing softball tonight.  He must not want to stay married to me. =)

Everything really is going well!  Caleb is a fabulous baby.  He could eat a little better, but he actually sleeps at night.  Baker didn't, so it has been a real blessing.  He is starting to spit up, but we pray it won't be as bad as Baker was.  If anyone knew us well, he filled up an entire burp cloth with one spit up.  It was so sad....no one wanted to hold him.  And we constantly smelled like sour milk.  Yum!  We made the trip to Columbia for Easter.  It was nice to be home b/c I hadn't been in months.  These were a few quick shots we got and wanted to share.  Caleb will be two weeks tomorrow and Baker is 19 months.  It definitely has been an interesting couple of weeks.  I am not sure if it ever is easy, but I am realizing how perfect the name of our blog really is for us.  We are warriors.....fighting through the hard moments so we can truly enjoy God's blessings.  And my family is such a blessing to me!

Caleb Burton Watson is here!!!

Caleb Burton Watson

8 lbs. 4 oz

21 inches long

Well.....the waiting is over!  I couldn't believe it when my water broke at about 2:45 am Tuesday morning.  In fact, I wasn't sure for about 10 minutes if that was really it....Josh even fell back asleep.  Soon enough....there was no question.  Luckily Baker was spending a few days at his grandparents so we did not have to have the extra panic of what to do with him at the moment.  I do remember having to say to myself, "Okay Laura, calm down, b/c Josh is freaking out and one of us has to be calm."  Long story short, We made it to the hospital by about 3:15 am...I was dilated to a 7/8 and having contractions every 3 minutes.....my nurse was fabulous and on the ball.  She made sure I got my epidural and we worked hard to deliver by 7 am so that Dr. McGowan could be the one to deliver me (who was not my doctor but one I really liked).  And he arrived, on his own.....2 weeks early at 6:32 am, a whopping 1 lb 1/2 more than Baker was!  We are all doing well, very tired, and Baker is adjusting!  

We finally picked his name.  We had a few choices but decided we would look at him first before we made the official decision.  I really like his name because it really means something to me.  His middle name, Burton, goes down 5 generations in my family...Caleb making the 6th.  My brother's name is Burton and we just didn't know if we could call him that seriously otherwise it would have been his first name.  And Caleb was NEVER in the running of names until I started reading my bible one day about Joshua.  Without going into too much detail, I read about a "warrior" Caleb, who encouraged and stood beside Joshua going into the promised land as a spy, and then being the only two to stand up in faith for the Lord when all else were ready to stone them.  Scripture quotes that Caleb was a "servant of the Lord, having a different spirit, and he served the Lord whole-heartedly."  We have our "Joshua" Baker, now we have our "Caleb".  My prayer is that the two always encourage each other and stand strong in their faith for the Lord.....even when all else turn away.

Can you tell which one is which?

Baker is on the left, Caleb is on the right!  Will they look alike?  Time will tell!

Weekly update.....

I know any mom-to-be has an "anxious spirit" when it gets towards the end of the road, however, I feel like my anxiousness is almost driving me mad.  I don't like feeling this way and I begin to question why I am feeling this way.  Then I am reminded.....since 28 weeks of pregnancy I have had weekly cervical ultrasounds, weekly doctor "checks", weekly conversations on the "what if" if the baby were to come early, been in the hospital 3 times to stop contractions I wasn't even feeling, taken medicine to stop the "ghost contractions" that made me feel like I was having a heart attack, and the lovely confinement to home/bed with a 1 and 1/2 year old showing me a new definition to "terrible ones".  I am anxious.  I know that the next part will not be any easier, in fact, probably much much more difficult, but I feel like I have lived week to week for an all too long while now.  Here I sit at 38+ weeks pregnant, dilated to a 4, 60% effaced going "Seriously!"  All this worry and he is still hanging in there!

But at the same time it has allowed me to stop and really put into perspective life.  I have been very humbled in the past few days.  I have been living my life week to week, while God is trying to remind me to live day to day.  I have been so consumed by what tomorrow or the next day will bring, that I am forgetting to enjoy what God has given me today......life growing inside me, a beautiful toddler that I only have days with just him and me left, a small amount of peace to my days when he is napping (which I know with two will be diminished shortly), time with my husband as a family of three, nights of full 7-8 hours of sleep, not to mention God's daily blessings to us.....I could go on and on.  So as this new era of my life will inevitably begin in the next few weeks....or days....if not hours.....I am thankful for today, God's love, and his endless blessings!  

MMMmmm......Good!

Today I got to help mommy bake brownies for Grandaddy.  He had knee replacement surgery and is in the hospital!  I hope they make him all better!  It was SO MUCH FUN!

A Few Updates....

I love this picture.  We have hung it in the baby's room.  Baker is in love with the belly.  He pats it, kisses it, and tries to give the baby his milk.  I think he is a little confused, or curious, as he is now lifting everyone's shirt to see their belly.  I am also finding unusual things in the bassinet, so hopefully he won't kill the baby as Baker enjoys throwing things in there.  And....we think we have a name!!!  But if you know us...then you know us!  We will let everyone know when we are 100% certain!

We finally took Baker's one year pictures.  These were just a few favorites.  He is growing so much and so full of life.  He is such a joy for sure!!!

I love snow!!

It is so sad that this was the biggest snow we have had in years and Mommy is big, pregnant, and without child.  Baker spent the weekend with his "Dee and Pop Pop" as he calls them.  Their original names were supposed to be "Dee Dee and Pop".  He decided to change it up!  Mommy did not believe the weather man about the amount of snow so she did not send Baker with appropriate clothing...notice the socks on his hands for gloves.  Don't think it stopped him from enjoying it!  Dee said that when Pop Pop would stop pulling him on the sled he would make his sign for "more, more".  I hated missing out on this special time, but I am trying to look out for Baby #2 as well.

Speaking of....my doctor appointment this week left me in the hospital for monitoring.  I was having contractions (which I could not feel....but I had progressed in dilation so my doctor was concerned) so was given shots to stop them and sent home with the pill version of the shots.  The medicine made me feel terrible....bed ridden for two days.  So they have me on a different kind now.  It is my first day of taking it, so I pray this one allows me to function and take care of Baker!  All in all, we're hanging in there!  We go to the doctor again Friday so I will update more soon!